IStock Photo 1185545 © nuno

As a teen, my home-life sucked.  Abuse, neglect, and my mom’s severe mental illness made home the last place I wanted to be. The ways I dealt with the traumas and horrors at home were maladaptive and dangerous.  Like many teens, I didn’t have the tools to handle things, and I desperately wanted out.  My path out of those dark times was directly related to leaving home at fifteen.  I preferred to be anywhere else than the environment of fear and dread I faced at home. Finally leaving my mom’s home for the last time at seventeen, I was able to pull myself up from the depths.  Difficult though it was, I couldn’t have done that at home.

I didn’t have a safe space to turn to as a teen.  Though I’m fairly certain my hometown hosted some sort of emergency shelter for teens, the thought never crossed my mind to go looking for one, in times when I felt trapped, or unsafe, or in crisis.  Instead of turning towards a place and people who were safe, I turned to unsafe behaviors.  I felt I was alone, and that I had no way out.  Had I known that there were folks who could – and would – help me navigate the bumps and potholes that was young adulthood, who would connect me with people who could really help, and treat me with respect and compassion – I believe I would have struggled less, and found stability sooner.

After graduating college, I immediately left to serve as an AmercorpsVISTA with Fairbanks Youth Advocates on something I felt was critical – helping young people in critical situations find safe solutions.  Working now to develop a shelter that is safe, warm, caring, and does the best it can to connect teens to resources and solutions – I feel incredibly lucky. My experience as a teen is not that of a homeless youth – I never slept on the streets, never didn’t know where I’d sleep that night, never felt the pressure to trade favors for couch space – but I vividly remember not wanting to go home.  The pain of knowing your family doesn’t have the tools to care for you in a healthy, loving way.  I remember feeling lost, abandoned, and scared.

There are many, many reasons young people leave home. We have a saying – for every 100 homeless teens, there are 98 unique reasons they’ve left home.  While a significant percentage of youth leave home because of abuse, molestation, neglect, or parental addiction and mental illness, many also leave because of escalating family conflict (we fight all the time!), personal crisis (oh! I’m pregnant! I can’t tell mom!), or being kicked out by their parents – parents who are at the end of their ability to deal.  I am incredibly proud to serve an agency whose goal is to safely reunite teens with their families, to connect them with partner agencies and services they desperately need, and to help them understand that they don’t have to swim those terrifyingly dark waters alone.

Join me in supporting this incredible agency.  Volunteer your time.  Donate things you no longer need.  Give.

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